bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
