im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
