But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
