Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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