all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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