Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize