TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
