I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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