I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No subtext here. People are naked.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
