Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
