I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
