I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
the raccoons are back...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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