Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize