The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
