The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize