Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
