Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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