maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
