I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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