I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize