I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize