turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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