We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
