I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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