So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
