in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
