i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
