dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
