we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize