I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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