Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
