Will you blow on my dice?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
