i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
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I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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