How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
