i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
