He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
time to smoke my breakfast
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
