Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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