someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i now understand why vodka
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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