Sponge bath it is.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
