If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
