Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
