If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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