Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
