I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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