Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
