capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
