ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
