Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
