I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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