that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
