You work out of a Hotel?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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