what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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