i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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