I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
