I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
