By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
