Banned from zoo.
Again?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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