I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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