i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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