And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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