he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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