I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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