Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
