going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
